12 ways to maintain a happy aquarium

1 Do not build a nuclear power plant or a white site secret prison beside your aquarium.

2 Do not evict the plants to make lebensraum for oil refineries & stock exchanges & mines.

3 Do not kill the fish leaders & install your own.

4 Do not burn the air stone. Do not burn the fish if they don’t obey.

5 Do not insert a penitentiary into your aquarium.

6 Do not crown one fish & make the others bow down.

7 Do not install facial recognition software in your aquarium, or disembodied voices that follow your orders.

8 Resist the temptation to set up networks of informers in your aquarium & suggest crimes they might commit.

9 Do not raze all the possible places to hide.

10 If you stage false ink events in your aquarium, your fish may not believe you later, when real ink may come.

11 Do not form masked armies & pay them in heroin.

12 Then you will have a happy aquarium.